The Guardian’s piece on the phenomenon of co-parenting in the modern age, what it means and why we do it – a great read!
“The definition of family has changed in recent years, now co-parenting is rewriting it completely. These mothers and fathers have relationships based on legal agreements and counselling rather than dates, romance and sex. But they all have one thing in common: the desire to have a child.
It’s supper-time in the Morgan household and three-year-old Zaide is pushing his food round his plate with a baby spoon. When he finally takes a mouthful, he howls that it’s too hot and too spicy. Instantly the adults round the table – his “tummy mummy” Sabrina Morgan, his “mum” Kirsty Slack and his daddy, Kam Wong – jump up to help. It’s a familiar scene to any of us who’ve had tears at the tea table. It’s just in this case, three people have stepped up to the plate. It is utterly astonishing watching them, not because they are all gay and all devoted to their son – nothing new in that – but because they met on the internet in order to create him.
Sabrina wanted a baby, but was a single gay woman. Kam wanted a baby, but was – is – in love with Martin, a man who didn’t want a child in his life 24/7. (Martin is very much part of Zaide’s life now, though.) And Kirsty wanted a child, too, but didn’t want to carry one. All of them were a piece short of the jigsaw. So while Sabrina and Kirsty met in the conventional way, Kam and Sabrina – Zaide’s biological parents – went on to the internet to find each other with the sole intention of having a child. With Zaide about to turn four, in January they are going to try for a second child.
“Co-parenting” through the initial use of the internet – basically finding a parent online – is fast becoming a trend. The various introduction websites, operating just like internet dating sites, are reporting rocketing numbers of users, with London coming within the top three cities after New York and Los Angeles. Even for the most liberal, it takes a certain recalibration of ideas. Co-parenting is not only about the gay community wanting to experience parenthood: heterosexual men and women are also signing up to websites, mostly as a result of feeling that time is running out and that parenthood with a “co-parent” rather than a real “love” who may never materialise is better than no parenthood at all.”
Source: The Guardian